the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
