I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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