toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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