that's an acceptable place to lick
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
