ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
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I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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