What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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