using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
