After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
