i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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