Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my shit smells like andre
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
