i think my tv is drunk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
