O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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