you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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