no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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