You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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