Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
