actually, I'm a sock model
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
