that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
