whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
