He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Alive.
So much puke
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
