I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
