The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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