He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
