her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we're making bets on your personal life
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
