I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
