OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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