I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
