we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
