So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
