Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
