Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
