I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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