Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
