I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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