check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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