From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
