Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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