Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Come on in and take your pants off
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