I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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