i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
