omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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