please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
