so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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