I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
