So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
