All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
