it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
