I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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