I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
