One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
zippers are such a cool invention
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
