i permit you to call me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you would pick up someone in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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