Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it because I queefed?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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