I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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