Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
