I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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