I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
