So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
