at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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