dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
