That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize