Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
