My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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