Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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