somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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