You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
