I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
