You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
